These are a list of Don’ts that should not be attempted under any circumstances, specially if you’re a beautiful woman who has high self respect for herself. If you’re like me, GOOD LUCK!
1. Challenge the universe when luck is not your side.
After the Carl incident happened, I convinced my self that it was not as embarrassing as I put it out to be and it was all okay because I would never see him again. By the time of his next visit, I’d be streaking naked on one of the beaches in Dubai (more on the Dubai part later). Or so I thought. If he comes within a few months, I thought, it’s a sign!
It took him only a few days to return. When I heard the news, I cringed, then got excited, then cringed again. I should have wished for something else.
2. Be so obvious with your infatuation that the whole world knows about it
I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that everyone but Carl knows I like him. My co-workers. My manager. The guy who sits at Rent A Car desk. You guys. Even my General Manager. He’s been teasing me ever since.
“Oh, your friend is coming tomorrow.”
“Oh look! You’re here early because of your friend!”
“Someone wants a Belgian passport“.
Every time he teases me, I smile uncontrollably. I don’t know whether it is too dangerous to have your GM be so close to you. I mean, I don’t mind him teasing me. I just don’t want him to get the wrong impression. I might be too late.
3. Vow to ignore him.
I made a vow that I was going to be very reserved. And I did try my best. When he asked if he was upgraded to the Presidential Suite this time, I turned around and said:
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. May be you’re not Mr. Jan’s favorite after all.”
And when he jokingly asked to return the Ferero Roche my GM had placed for him in return for some Belgian chocolates, I said:
“Don’t be like that,” and made a face. Don’t act like the snob that you are.
4. Break the vow as soon as he turns his charm on
Yes, the smile, the small compliments. He is very charming. Meher is a lucky girl.
I suggested he should get his clothes ironed for the Mehndi he had to attend that night and he looks at his friend and says, “It’s nice having a lady around.”
Why would an uninterested man make such a comment?
5. Go into coma once you see him with the other girl
I literally froze. What the fuck. The same feelings, like the last time. It was gut wrenching, trust me. He wasn’t leading me on, I had lead myself on.
6. Get to know more about him
So you can’t keep yourself from falling in love with him.
He loves cats. He lived in Palestine for four years. He travels a lot. He’s close with his mom. He’s a typical a Leo. He’s good with children. He enjoys reading books. But he’s clumsy and forgetful. Which I find adorable as well.
7. Be nice to him all the time
Until you realize he doesn’t even know your name. Then, be EXTRA nice and do what he tells you to.
Yes, he doesn’t even know my name. He asked the operator to connect him to me, the girl who’s very young and stands at the reception. That’s who I am. The young girl who stands at the reception. And he didn’t want to make small talk. Oh no! He just wanted to get a free delivery from our Sissy.
8. Be accused of stealing
For some reason, she gave us Rs.7,000 for food that only cost Rs.3,000. I don’t know why people in Karachi travel with so much cash in their bags. Anyway, the moment we gave it to the driver, she called to verify if we had given it to the driver. Does she think we’re thieves? This is a five star hotel, Missy.
And since I was the one who asked money before hand, she’s indirectly pointing towards me.
It makes sense. I only have Rs. 250 in my pocket at present. It makes all the sense in the world for me to steal from them.
9. Cry on your way home because he was heaving when you answered the phone
Yes, my manager called him. He was heaving. Really.
Oh my god. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. I even had a dream about him proposing to Meher. After which I had a racy dream about him. I’m more twisted than a Jalebi.
The only good thing about it is that it has motivated me more than anything to take up the overseas deal I’m being offered. Specially, since Carl insisted (for whatever reason) that I stay. It’s not the only reason I’m planning on moving abroad ( I have my family to thank for that), but it’s definitely a catalyst. I hope he doesn’t come around again until I have finally escaped to a beach or something.
Is it just me or is it possible to get infatuated with someone over such a small period of time? Why are Belgians so charming? Do you hate/love Belgians as much as I do?