Excuse me, is my skinny-ness bothering you?

I don’t get offended when people comment on my weight. The amount of fuck they pretend to give is almost believable. Mostly, I couldn’t be arsed.

But this time they went too far. Because of their worrying reviews on my physique, I was running around hospitals, calling my pervert doctor and spending hours analyzing my naked self in the mirror. And so, my lazy old Garfield self is not to be blamed for not posting here for a while.

It all started when I returned from my forced hiatus to L’hotel. I expected to be met with a flurry of hugs and overly concerned voices of phonies telling me just how much they missed me. So much that they never even once called. Instead, I was greeted with “Wow, you have lost too much weight!

Everyday, a new comment would arise, pushing me closer to the belief that I really was sick. And it wasn’t just one person. Almost all of my co-workers gave me worrying looks and asked how I was feeling. They asked me how I was feeling! They NEVER do that!

Soon after, other symptoms began to appear. I was growing paler, growing thinner and had absolutely no control over when I wanted to pee. Every day, I came home to look at myself in the mirror. Were my cheekbones more apparent than they were before? Where were my cheeks anyway? WHERE WAS MY ASS?

Either it was all a giant conspiracy or I had really started looking like Keira Knightley.

I asked my family if they had noticed any changes in me. They insisted I was the same as before and that everything was fine. Surely, I couldn’t trust this overly optimistic bunch.

So I turned to my one and only friend who never lets me down:

After an hour of endless typing, clicking and skimming through article headings, I had the answer. Hyperthyroidism. Thanks to Grey’s anatomy, I knew what it meant.

The next morning, I got out of the shower to realize I wasn’t only shedding weight, but hair as well. There’s nothing more motivating than a threat to your hair, to call your doctor while you’re still wet and wrapped in a towel. I’m not sure if he understood my frantic speech.

That’s why I think it’s my thyroid.”

I waited for him to present me with a prize. I could see the headlines now: NON-MEDICAL STUDENT DIAGNOSES HERSELF THROUGH GOOGLE.

Does anyone in your family have diabetes?”

Uh. Wait. What?

Yes, my grandfather, he..
Great. You should get tested


Diabetes? Dia-fucking-betes?

The whole day I didn’t even look at anything sweet. I refused a candy from a 6 year old.

I have never been in such a hurry to give my blood to someone. I shit you not, when the Doc pulled my blood into the plastic syringe, it was more black than red. “All that black,” my mind chanted “is the banana splits you have been hogging down this month.”

Waiting for the results was an absolute nightmare, specially when my co-workers were dead set that I was ill.

Don’t worry, it’s not a thyroid problem,” one of them said.

Thanks.

Your thyroid is fine. It’s the diabetes. You don’t have blood in you. I mean, look at you! You’re so pale!”

I felt a sudden hunger for human flesh.

The results came back later that day. Turns out, my family was right. Everything was fine.

My co-workers are a bunch of fools, too ignorant to realize that negative comments on people’s weight, no matter how fat or skinny you are, are in fact, rude. Rude. Rude. RUDE. My co-workers are also fools that don’t read my blog so I’m venting out here:

Dear Co-workers, I’m skinny because I’m blessed/cursed with skinny genes. Thank you so much for pretending to give a flying fuck about my health but I’m sure you’re really disappointed I’m healthy.

Regards,

Healthy as shit

The point of posting about this is not to highlight how negative my co-workers are or how naive and optimistic my family is or what sort of a pervert L’hotel’s house doctor is. Not even the fact that my co-workers are cruel and ignorant with their words and if I could, I would really like to throw them under a bus. Okay, it is that but it is also to make you think of all those people who are actually ill, suffering from diseases but still facing life the best way that the can. The will and power needed to fight from a disease and to remain optimistic about life is truly inspiring. I want to dedicate this post to them.

Zareen Naqvi

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26 comments

  1. What a great post. Made me laugh in parts, then get frustrated for you and then admire you for the dedication.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have written here after such a long time i was actually worried no one will read it. Thanks for dropping by and commenting, babe 😄❤️

      Like

  2. Welcome back 🙂 Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Aman! Thank you buddy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome Miss 🙂

        Like

  3. So true! I’m not blessed with “skinny genes” but I find people negatively commenting on people’s body shapes and sizes sooooo rude! If your thin, your anorexic. If your chubby, your fat and lazy… You cant win either way.
    They were prob just jealous that your young and slim and they’re old and knackered! Haha! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly my point. No weight is considered perfect and there’s ALWAYS room for improvement. It’s okay once in a while and I should be used to it right now but it can be embarrasing at times!
      Thank you so much for commenting Mrs W! 💛

      Like

  4. Well, if I hate your skinny- ness, then I probably love your fucking sense of humor .. By the way is that you in a flat chest? She sure looks cute like … hell knows what

    Like

    1. Haha. Thank you!

      Um no that’s Keira Knightley. But people do say i resemble her. Thin face. Thin lips.

      Like

  5. oh geez. those idiots! you are perfectly gorgeous just the way you are! the haters gonna hate hate hate hate haha shake it off!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! I didn’t know you were a Taylor Swift fan!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha well I’m not generally a fan of hers but I do like that song haha

        Liked by 1 person

  6. great post – can you see my comments? I haven’t received any reply back from you, I got worried!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading!
      Oops! I did reply though. That’s weird!

      Like

      1. Thank you so much for you responding back to me. I am looking forward to speaking with you!

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Will you connect on Skype???

            Like

            1. Im off to work in a few minutes. But i promise i’ll give you a buzz on my day off so we can have a good, easy hour to talk.

              Like

              1. Great Idea – I look forward:)

                Like

                1. Im off today. Will be on skype although connection today is very bad!

                  Like

  7. I can relate hun!

    I have the “skinny genes” too.
    In a way, people were waiting for me to get married…and blow up. That didn’t quite pan out.
    Then they hoped pregnancy would fill me out …Naaah…
    Inactivity postpartum would do the trick they thought…

    Like hell it did… I am skinnier than ever. And with no effort on my part!

    Everyone seems to have given up now. The snide comments and mock concern over my weight has given way to oohing and aaahing over the baby 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The comment about me becoming fat after i get married? Yeah i have heard that one too!

      Haha! They must have been so disappointed! 😉

      So you’re saying I should have a baby to divert attention from my weight? Hmm, okay! 😛

      Like

  8. I missed your silence and laughed so hard at this post. Glad you are fine! You are lucky to have great skinny genes! Thanks for Garfield pic LOL😊

    Like

    1. Awwww! I’m glad I could make you laugh. It’s the best part of my day when I get to hear that I made someone laugh.

      I was thinking of you when I posted it! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Zareenn

        Liked by 1 person

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