5 Hospitality Rules That Can Go Fuck Themselves

I have lived L’hotel life long enough to write this post. I have dealt with such varied personalities over the years that I feel it’s safe to say that I’m finally starting to understand humans and how twisted their minds are. Hospitality is one field where no rules are applicable, and new ones are being born every day. It’s a lovely profession, specially if you’re passionate about a job that doesn’t pay well and which threatens to strip off your self esteem without any prior notice.

Over the years, I have learned and heard rules as to how to deal with customers. Here are my thoughts about them.

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT

Customer service employees have heard this line so many times, it’s probably engraved into their souls. NEWSFLASH: THIS IS A MYTH. En fait, the customer is wrong most of the times.

But the tea was cold! I’m not paying for it.

It’s probably because you made the waiter stand outside your door for about a hour before gathering up enough energy to get your lazy bum out of bed. But because the guest is paying the hotel big bucks (or just bucks) and because we are paid big bucks (or just bucks) to take care of our guests, we have to suck it up and say, “I am truly sorry for the inconvenience caused. I’ll waive it off your bill right now.

NEVER SAY NO TO THE CUSTOMER

Yes, don’t you dare tell him that his request is bizzare and out of your policy. Instead, offer to contact the manager, raising a hope in them that their request is valid enough to be entertained. As if the manager is a person with balls who is ballsy enough to make a decision.Finally,crush their hopes by telling them “I’m so sorry, it’s just not possible“. The ending to a scenario like this is never pretty.

Listen to me: You can say no. And you should. We’re employee’s of a hotel, not the Make A Wish And Have It Granted Foundation.

MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH GUEST

Yes, let’s have a stare off, shall we?

THANK EVERY GUEST

People at L’hotel take this so literally, they’re even saying thank you to guests who have stripped their self-esteem to pieces. This one is a no brainer, really. All you have to do is use your bloody common sense.

SMILE, SMILE, SMILE!
As if you’re in a bloody toothpaste commercial.

Because all the guest really wants to see is your molars and pre-molars. This is practically a very hard task to accomplish. Specially when you’re under paid. Specially, when you’re covering double shifts and doing all the work.

I can’t believe I was made to learn these golden rules of hospitality. I regret now that I have wasted 20% of my total memory learning them.Damn. These golden rules can go fuck themselves.

Are you a rule follower or breaker? Do you have a set of stuuupid rules at work too? What’s the dumbest rule you have ever heard?

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28 comments

  1. Hahahaaha— well, yeah. 😀

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  2. deepbluesandseafoamgreens · · Reply

    XD you write so well! “As if you’re in a bloody toothpaste commercial.” That made me laugh so hard!

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    1. Thank you 😀

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  3. I absolutely loved this! Well done! And it is so true, even in my work….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We’re all the same when it comes to work, haha.

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  4. So funny! That staring gif scared me a little…those eyes!

    I hope all is well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know. It’s super creepy, isn’t it? When I scroll through this post, I skip it. I can’t even look at it.

      Yeah, quite busy actually with work. Hope everything is going good with you? 🙂

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  5. yes – having worked in customer service I wholeheartedly agree with this haha

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    1. Thank you for reading! I’m glad I’m not the only one!

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  6. Imagine if you could talk to them like Basil Fawlty!

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    1. Maybe I should try that sometimes!

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      1. I always think it’s cheeky to link to your own site, but I did my favourite 8 of his quotes on mine. I think my favourite is:

        “Anything else? I mean, would you like the hotel moved a bit to the left?”

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hahaha! You know, at times, you really do feel like saying stuff like that. I was pretty young when I started out and I used to lose it.
          I’m better now. (A bit 😉 )

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  7. This is so true. Especially the smiling thing. People seem to believe that “not providing a huge smile like the Joker’s mouth does” = “not professional”. So if I was a doctor should I still grin like a serial killer during the surgery…?

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    1. Exactly! A smile should draw more people to you instead of scaring them off!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. wow – only 5???

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    1. Hahaha! I hope you’re not offended! This was a satire!

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      1. I am calling tomorrow the HR and Department head after the stand up meeting – LOL

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        1. Oh goodness! 😛

          Liked by 1 person

          1. And if you already had 2 writes up, they say third one is determination….lol

            Liked by 1 person

  9. You do make me laugh 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad i can 😃

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am glad you are here – I almost wanted to fly to speak with you – Please make sure to reply via email – Thank you!

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        1. Oh I will! Sorry, I have just been swamped with work. 🙂

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