Well, at least she liked my nails

This week I’m going to tell you how to be the perfect daughter-in-law. Answer: You can’t be. Not in our society, at least. How can you be?

I hate the way there is pressure on young girls to get married in our society. They should be encourage to follow their dreams and make something of themselves and then get married. And oh God who in their right mind would want to sit through an hour long conversation just to tell a couple of strangers about your past and “talents” and “abilities” when it’s so clear that with every word you say they’re..

This is what most mother’s want for their 40 year old sons:

A, simple, girl who dresses in shalwar kameez and is traditional. A degree in making the perfect roti would be preferred to a bachelor’s degree. Should sacrifice her job and wants and needs for our beloved, un-educated, average looking boy because he is SUCH a catch.

P.S Candidates above 24 years of age may not apply for our 30 year-old son. After all, 25 is the new old.

This is what the 40 year old sons want for themselves:

Also, like my dadi ( grandma from my dad’s side) always says to couples with only one child, with a tone so sympathetic you would swear it’s for their own goodwill:

He should have a brother/sister to play with“. After the couple has another baby who is supposedly a girl: “You know every girl should be blessed with a beautiful sister to play with” and after they have an another girl, “Awww your poor little boy! He doesn’t know the joy of having a brother around”. Pretty soon:

The expectations and wants of a mother-in-law only exceed, and never lessen.

My Dadi came over today. She always, always brings up the topic of my marriage. I’m not too keen on marriage and I’m pretty sure I have made it quite clear to her through facial expressions and verbal expressions. Yet, every time we meet, it’s the same thing all over again.

And while in midst of the conversation, my mom said something which was supposed to be kept a secret from me: That one of our relatives had paid a visit to us. Not to meet us or anything, but to come and see me. For their son.

OH. MY. GOSH. And all this time, I was unaware. Thanks Mom. WAY TO GO!

When people visit their future daughter-in-law, they would hope to see this:

Instead they got:

I refuse to take the blame for any shock that I may have caused them. I didn’t know that they were coming over. Or that they were coming over with such intentions.

Oh who am I kidding? Even if I knew they were coming over, I wouldn’t have dressed differently. That’s a lie. I would have dressed outrageously on purpose just to freak them out.

Now that I come to think of it, I should have guessed their intentions because it less of a meet-and-greet and more of an interview.

“So where do you work?”

“I work at a ho..”

“How much do you get paid?”

“Erm..I kind of think that’s a bit perso..”

“Great! Do you cook?”

I was having a hard time catching my breath before I could answer the next question being fired at me.

And just so you know, this Q&A was being conducted with the guy, supposedly future husband, sitting right there, like a shy, tiny rabbit. It wasn’t until later that I got to know that he wasn’t shy. AT ALL.

Anyway, I am still not married to anyone so it’s pretty clear that I didn’t pass the test. The future-mother-in-law did comment on how pretty and neat my nails were with pink nail polish:

These are NOT my nails, though.

But when I asked my mom as to why they didn’t proceed any further ( not that I wanted them to, just curious) she said:

They wanted to do a wedding as soon as possible but I don’t think you’re ready for it“.

There are two reasons behind this answer. Either she’s being a good mother and trying to hide the truth from me that they hated me and said that I could never, ever be a successful daughter-in-law as they left the house. Or, she’s being a good mother and telling the truth.

Thanks Mom. That’s the only motherly thing you have done today.



  1. Haha oh lord, since you posted the New Girl GIF I gotta say– this totally reminds me of the CiCi (did I spell that correctly?) plot in Season 2 where they’re trying to marry her off to a guy from her own culture and his family is scrutinizing her every move.


    1. Hahaha yeah kinda like that! Indian and Pakistani culture are somewhat similar. Specially the narrow-minded-ness.


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