Male Red Riding Hood

My hotel’s brand logo’s color is red. Red as in dark red. Rouge. So at least one piece of clothing in our uniform has to be red. The girls wear red shirts while the boys have red ties. Mind you, their tie color totally sucks. It might just be the shade but I would have preferred if the men wore dark blue or black ties. But what the hell? I don’t make the rules. Maybe when I’m rich enough to buy the hotel…

I was crazy with joy when our new uniforms were made! So much better than what I had been wearing before: A loose black blazer with a white shirt that was begging for mercy (or a better wash- our laundry guys are so freaking lazy) with black pants. It was okay. And that was the problem; it was just okay. But the new attire is love! It has a silk red shirt, with a navy blue (so blue it’s almost black) blazer ( that fits me perfectly, unlike the old one) and pants, which are both pinstriped. I don’t know what kind of image you have made in your mind of my uniform because you’re just hearing the details from me as opposed to actually seeing it, but take my word for it, it looks good. You know, actually it makes me feel so much more confident and sexy. Wow. I never thought a simple uniform would make me feel that good.

Anyway, apart from this uniform, me and another colleague of mine ( who has resigned-thank Christ) were given another uniform. It includes a red ( so not red, it’s almost orange) jacket with a single collar paired with black pants. It covers my neck in a way, that you’re not able to see the white shirt I’m wearing underneath. It is horrible. Totally, totally horrible. The wrong color, the wrong make…everything is wrong. I hate wearing it because of it’s reddish-orangish color that leads to everyone at work calling me names ( can you believe the people I work with? Making fun of each other like we’re all kids at a freaking high school? Sheeeeeesh! ). Also, it doesn’t make me feel sexy. I feel stupid wearing it. Add to that, it was also the uniform of our protocol officer and the door man. Both of whom are male. Which meant that I was made to wear a man’s uniform. Please witness a sight of my humiliation below.

I remember the first few days when I had worn it. I walked into the ladies locker room and this middle aged women, Fatima, who’s also in my department insisted that I looked so so great. I walked out of the locker but stayed outside the door just to see if she really meant it (Wrong. I know I shouldn’t. But it’s fun). And she didn’t. I could hear her saying that I looked like a male waiter. And I did. But she didn’t have to be a back biting biatch about it. The next day when she saw me, she went all “you look amazing” on me, I said:

Really? That’s funny coz I thought you thought that I looked like a male waiter“.

She went white.

I tried talking my boss out of making me wear it. The nerve of him, he tried to play mind games. On me, of all people. He said that I looked great ( riiiigggghhhtttt) and that anyone who made fun of me was too foolish and stupid to know that it’s soooooo stylish.

 Really? That’s supposed to convince me? A bunch of lies said to make me feel better like I’m a nine year old? And stylish? Was it in Chanel’s spring collection? Must have missed it.

So I gave up. I was supposed to wear that dreaded uniform yesterday since we were getting a visit from the C.O.O of our international branch. We were all discussing our strategies in the lobby when the G.M walked towards me. He’s not so easy to read but he was then, at that moment. He hated my uniform. You would have sworn he had eaten a bad piece of chicken by the look on his face.

No…no

Is there something wrong?” I inquired, perfectly aware of what was wrong.

He said “It’s a male jacket!!“.

I looked at my boss.

My boss, totally embarrassed and in a state of panic offered some lame suggestions i.e a red scarf around the neck would make it look better. Because we all know that a scarf compliments a male jacket so well. But it wasn’t that the shirt’s collar was too big. It was, but that wasn’t the problem. The G.M wanted me to look feminine. AND in that uniform I looked anything but.

He asked me to go change. I love this G.M.

I practically ran back to the locker to change. Ecstatic with joy, I couldn’t help smiling. When I emerged with the other uniform, he gave me a nod and a small ( so small I’m not even sure that it was one or whether I like imagining things) smile.

I guess after the first impression went bad, the third impression didn’t make any outstanding impression either. He must be wondering how dumb I am to actually wear a male jacket in the first place. I can only hope that my I-told-you-so look to my boss might have hinted that I wasn’t the only one to blame.

Score: Team Verduyn 2- Team Naqvi 0.5?

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4 comments

  1. Haha when I first started reading about your sexy new uniform, my eyes couldn’t help but glance down at the photo and I was a wee bit concerned at your definition of sexy. Not that you don’t look darling, of course! Just not what I was picturing 😉

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    1. Are u talking about the picture of the red uniform? That’s the BAD one!

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      1. Haha yes, I figured that out after I kept reading! But at first I was like “hmmm….” haha

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        1. Haha that’s okay! Thanks for stopping by though!

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